Archive for December, 2010

Merry Christmas!

Crazy week, and no time to post really, but I wish you all a wonderful Christmas and Happy New Year!


…stay tuned for new Goal Setting post!

Top Words

I love how Facebook has all those end of the year applications that create collages or lists of your status updates, photos, etc. from the year.  When I used “Top Words” this morning, my top 3 words were:

  1. Happy
  2. Really
  3. Gym

Not so bad.  🙂

Is this taking too long?

I want to lose a solid 100 pounds (AT LEAST).  I’m down 55-60ish now (depending on the day), and I look AND feel about a million times better than I did.  However, I’ve been at this for TWO years.  Of course I know that I can’t look at the Biggest Loser for a guide, so I’m not expecting to lose 10 pounds a week, but I do hear lots of stories about lots of people losing 100+ pounds in a year – and NEVER more than 2 years.

I feel like I could buckle down and drop a bunch of weight.  That’s what I did in the beginning.  However, I really enjoy my workouts.  If I want to REALLY drop weight, I need to eat in a BIG deficit, and sometimes that means cutting down my training so it only protects me from muscle wasting.  I’m already eating in a deficit, but not so severe of one that I can’t support intense training.  Compliance is one of the most important parts of fat loss, so if training intensely improves my compliance, is it worth it to have less of a deficit in my food??

Or is that a version of self-sabotage?  I don’t think so, but I wonder sometimes.  I try not to get too focused on those sorts of things, but I don’t think people get as big as I was without some element of self-sabotage in their personalities or behaviors.  Am I harming myself, or at least holding myself back, by not finishing this and getting on with my life?  Is this fierce hold I have on intense training based in fear?  If so, what am I afraid of??

I’m working on some new goals and a new plan to get me looking my best for my birthday.  It’s an arbitrary date, really, but it IS a big birthday.  I have 4 months and 1 day, so I have to get cracking.  I’ve been listening to a member’s only audio series on bridging the technical/emotional aspects of fat loss that Leigh Peele released.  For the first time, I’m not going to gloss over the mental aspects of this and I’m not going to rush.  Even though I did lose fat in 2010, my progress just wasn’t what I wanted it to be.  I don’t want to look back a year from now and say the same thing.


Plugging along…

Need a better goal

I’m going to be 30 in just over 4 months.  Yikes.  I wanted to be down at least 100 pounds by then, but I’m not sure it’s realistic.  I would have to lose 10-15 pounds a month to get there.  I’ve really enjoyed the mental break of not weighing in every day.  Maybe I need more consistency with my thermometer jeans.  With photos.  Still thinking about this one.


In other news… My workouts are getting better, though my energy level is still low.  My nutrition hasn’t been great.  My meals have been healthy, but I haven’t been great about listening to my body and stopping before I’m full.  I started buckling down on that today.  I also need more rest, since I think that the typical holiday business is contributing to my low energy.


As always, plugging along…

Getting better

It took me awhile to motivate myself to get out of the house today.  Maybe this is why…

Too Soon for THIS!

Isn’t it technically still fall??  As I’ve aged, my tolerance for the cold has DROPPED.  Just knowing I was going outside into single digits made me get ready a bit more slowly.


I did have a good workout, even though I have some nausea if I don’t give myself enough rest time between sets.  I’m getting more work done while at the gym than I have been since I started not feeling well.   I’m trying to be smart about this, though – I don’t want to get sick at the gym, so I just take longer rests, but really push it while I’m working.  Because of this, I’ve had to shorten my workouts so I can finish in 60-75 minutes, but I’ve been able to complete the missed circuits as part of my “cardio” days.  Seems to be a good balance…for now.

Back at it… sort of

I’ll admit it – I missed a full week of workouts.  I don’t remember the last time that happened.  I didn’t feel the twitchy feeling that I usually get when I miss a workout.  This concerns me a bit – fear of that twitchy feeling is what helped me get on track.  I hated having an excess of energy just sitting in my muscles.


I’m still not feeling well, but I’m feeling better.  I got back at it today.  The workout was NOT fun – I really had to grind it out.  But, I got it done, and even added some cleans at the end just to have some fun.  I had some nausea when my heart rate got really high, but I managed by taking a longer rest period.  I may just be burned out – this is far and away the most stressful time of year at my job.  The kids are lonely and sad, and generally triggered by their abandonment issues.  I leave work each day with a tension headache on top of all the other generalized crappiness I have going on in my body.  But, I got in my lift.  I didn’t wimp out on my weights or my reps.  And, I’ll go back tomorrow.  And the next day…

Low Energy This Week

Dogs are low energy too - for the moment!! But adorable, nonetheless!

I’m not really sure what’s been going on with me.  Last week, everything was clicking.  I was hitting my workouts hard, my clothes were fitting better, and my food choices were good.  Thanksgiving morning, I went to the gym (because I was that on track) and it sucked.  I finished my whole workout, but I did not enjoy it.  Even Jeb noticed that I seemed to be slogging through the workout.  As the day went on, though, I started feeling worse and worse – my throat started hurting, I felt really run down, and I had a little bit of nausea.  Friday, I was planning to go to kettlebell class, and had even committed Jeb to going.  I looked forward to it for a whole week, but decided Thursday night to skip it – I just felt too terrible.  It was extremely frustrating.

Friday was a good day, but I continued to have a low energy level and sore throat.  My appetite was down and I became nauseous after eating.  Saturday was worse, but I got through the day (including lots of obligations).  I even went for a nice walk with the pups.  Sunday, I tried to be productive, but everything took about twice as long as it needed to take.


All of this was ok with me, though, because I was going to hit the gym hard Monday morning and get back on track.  The time off would give my body time to rest and heal, so I wouldn’t get sicker or injured.  It was hard to go so many days without exercising, but if it’s for a good cause, it’s worth it…right?


Ha – I went to the gym Monday morning and it was terrible.  After every circuit, I became nauseous and needed to take really long rests.  After 90 minutes, I still hadn’t finished my workout and had to leave anyway.  Over the last few days, I’ve had no energy and have consistent nausea.


Ugh – I hate missing workouts, and I hate being sick.  I’m feeling very sorry for myself.  Hopefully, I’ll feel up to a good workout tonight – or at least SOMETHING.  The thing is, though, that I don’t have the tingly, antsy feeling in my body that I normally get when I miss a workout – so I must be fighting something off – but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating.  I worry that I’m slipping, and it’s so hard not to be scared that I’ll fall completely off the wagon and gain all my weight back.  Rationally, I know that is unlikely, but the irrational side of me is stressed.  At the very least, I am going to work on my attitude/perspective today.  I have to be productive at work, since I’ll be out at a training for the rest of the week.