Resolutions

Here we are again at the New Year!  I’m not normally one to come up with New Year’s Resolutions, but this year is different.  I’ve been doing this “weight loss thing” for a couple years now, and it is TIME to be done.  Starting today, I am participating in Leigh Peele’s Resolution Solution challenge.  I will be following a calorie cycling program with a new training program, but won’t get into the diet details during the course of the challenge (due to copyright rules).  A big portion of the challenge is a focus on the mental aspect of fat loss.  I am embracing the full challenge and, for the first time, making my goals concrete.  So far in this journey, I’ve simply wanted to lose weight.  I’ve never really bothered to set concrete goals or figure out my true motivations.

 

What do I want? I want my body to be healthier, and to convey the amount of work I have already put into living a healthier lifestyle.  I need to lose more fat (though I’m not sure how much – maybe 40-50 pounds), and I want to maintain the muscle that I have now.  I also want my body to be stronger and more able to handle any challenge that comes along. External rewards are also important to me – I want the people around me to assume I live a healthy lifestyle, rather than the opposite.

 

Why do I want these things? Aside from the obvious health benefits,  I want to feel completely confident for the first time in my life.  I want to be able to shop in more than one or two stores for clothes – and I want to ROCK whatever styles I choose.  I don’t want to feel like a hypocrite anymore – I have to encourage healthy lifestyle choices to the kids I work with, and it doesn’t feel right encouraging them to be mindful of their food choices when it is obvious that I have not done the same.  I really want to have more adventure in my life.  Sometimes, though less often than a few years ago, I shy away from things that I could really enjoy because I am embarrassed or worried that I am not capable.  This needs to stop.  Today.

 

What will it mean to finally have the body I want? It will mean that I have succeeded.  At that point, I will be 100% in control.  My past trauma and fear will be in the past forever, and I will have learned to separate the emotional issues I have from my physical needs.  It also means that I have persevered and kept the promise I made to myself – that I would live the lifestyle of a healthy person and not give in to momentary pleasures at the expense of my greater goals.

 

What does it mean to train on a regular basis? This is the easy part for me.  I love to train.  It helps with my general energy level, my self esteem, and my general happiness.  I love seeing progress in the gym and knowing I am getting stronger, fitter, and healthier.  Choosing to train is choosing to be happy.

 

What is the hardest part of losing fat? I struggle with the diet.  When life gets stressful, it is hard to remember that food is fuel, not a reward or comfort.  I’ve been working on eating more intuitively and stopping when I get full.  I’m not always successful, but I’m glad I recognize that I struggle in this area.  Removing the emotional attachments I have to food is one of my primary objectives during this challenge.  Additionally, I have PCOS, and struggle with losing weight anyway.  It’s hard for me to trust the process and know I am getting results even if the scale doesn’t always say so.

 

Who am I trying to please? Myself, of course, but probably not as much as I should be!  Right now, I’m more focused on pleasing others – my husband, my family, my coworkers, etc.  I want the people in my life to look at me and think of me as a fit and healthy person.  Once others see me that way, it will be easier for me to see it too.  I’ve never had a ton of encouragement in my physical appearance or body composition, so even when I see results, it’s hard to truly embrace them and be satisfied.  This self-esteem aspect will also be huge for me over the next 3 months.  I need to be satisfied without the external support.

 

How will attaining physical goals change my life? Moving toward my physical goals has already changed my life.  I’m amazed at the improvement in my energy levels and my confidence.  Attaining my goals will allow me to push my body in athletic ways – competing in local events, trying new sports, or just plain feeling normal when I’m out jogging or playing with my niece.  I look forward to hiking in the summer without worrying that I might not be able to handle the trek, and wearing a bathing suit without feeling embarrassed.

 

Final thoughts:

I’m doing this challenge through the leighpeele.com membership site.  I’m taking a completely different approach than I have in the past and am hoping to see some big and lasting results.  My husband is also trying to lose fat, and I am helping him.  I hope that helping him will also help me stay on track.  Our lives can only get better by us both doing the work now and being successful!  For me, though, self-identity is playing a big part in this.  I am training myself to stop thinking of myself as the “fat friend” or the “lazy one” and instead start thinking of myself as an athlete or at least a fit woman.  This will be an even bigger part of the picture for my husband, but I’m not sure he knows this yet.  I’m going to help him, but I also need to not let helping him reach his goals affect me reaching mine (he would never want this, but I have tendency to get into a “caretaker” role that sacrifices my own needs).  This is the year that we lose our excess weight and embrace our real identities!

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2 responses to this post.

  1. […] In January, I began Leigh Peele’s Resolution Solution Challenge.  I changed up my nutritional strategy (with success) and really worked on my mindset.  By resolving to make a change, and really thinking about my motivations, I was able to find an extra nugget of strength to help keep me from seeking out comfort in food.  Six months later, I find that I have definitely been able to maintain all of the fat loss, while also maintaining some of the behavioral changes.  With everything going on in my family right now, I need something to focus on – and since this blog is about self-care, and I have my half-marathon coming up, I am going to revamp my resolutions and step up the efforts.  That said, here are my 2011 Resolutions, version 2.0 (Version 1.0  can be found here). […]

    Reply

  2. […] In January, I began Leigh Peele’s Resolution Solution Challenge.  I changed up my nutritional strategy (with success) and really worked on my mindset.  By resolving to make a change, and really thinking about my motivations, I was able to find an extra nugget of strength to help keep me from seeking out comfort in food.  Six months later, I find that I have definitely been able to maintain all of the fat loss, while also maintaining some of the behavioral changes.  With everything going on in my family right now, I need something to focus on – and since this blog is about self-care, and I have my half-marathon coming up, I am going to revamp my resolutions and step up the efforts.  That said, here are my 2011 Resolutions, version 2.0 (Version 1.0  can be found here). […]

    Reply

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