First Cycle Done!

It was successful.  I only felt like I was “dieting” for two days – the rest of the time just felt like I was making healthy food choices.  Progress on goals:  (Overall Goals)

• Lost 7.4 pounds.  Of course, some of that is water/bloat, but I’m happy nonetheless.
• I’m better about my sleeping, but still could use more.  I was good about going to bed when I felt like I needed to, but didn’t do a great job settling and actually sleeping.
• I’m starting to recognize times when I want to eat because I’m stressed or bored, rather than hungry.  In those moments, I’m eating a couple pieces of bell pepper and drinking a glass of water.  It seems to be helping with compliance.
• I’m not doing great with the self-care (though I think my workouts are part of that).  I did play with our new Kinect a couple days this week which was definitely great for my mental health! 🙂

 

Did I meet my objectives?

• Following cycling program accurately and with compliance?  YES
• 100% compliance with training?  YES
• Identify and prepare at least one healthy recipe and blog about it?  YES.  This is a great recipe.  Without the rice, it even fits into a lower calorie day, and has a “sticks to your ribs” quality that makes it not feel like diet food!
• Identify one fun activity to do with Jeb this weekend?  Working on it.  Will definitely play Kinect and maybe go to the movies.  Plus, the NFL playoffs start today, so we might watch a game.  SO, I guess that is a YES!

So far, so good!  Now, onto Cycle 2!

Another good day

I won’t post specifics now, but suffice to say that I am making progress.  My workout was good, and I’m finding that the healthful choices I am making with my food are making the deficit easier.  Today was my first test of compliance, I think – I had a bunch of meetings and to teach a CPR re-cert so I wasn’t able to eat at my usual times.  I work in a quiet building, essentially alone, so I have a lot of flexibility with meals.  Today, though, I was at our main campus, where staff are offered a yummy hot lunch.  I got hungry, and the food smelled great – but I stuck to the plan. 🙂

 

Plugging along…

New Recipe

Keeping with one of my action steps for my goals, I made a new recipe last night.  It is Garlicky Chicken Satay from one of my favorite food blogs – Joelen’s Culinary Adventures.  The seasoning paste for the chicken is flavorful, but not overpowering, and the peanut sauce is a nice balance of sweet, salty, and fresh.  Plus, since most of the calories from the sauce come from unsweetened coconut milk and peanut butter, I feel like I’m getting some good nutrition for my calories.

Delicious and Nutritious!

This will definitely make it’s way into the regular rotation.  Served with Wild and Brown rice and some green beans, the meal breaks down like this (assuming 4 ounces of chicken and 1 serving of rice):

Calories:  520

Carbohydrates:  50g

Protein:  43g

Fat:  17g

The bulk of the carbs come from the rice, which I will likely cut down in future meals.  It was a good, satisfying dinner for a higher calorie day, though.

 

I did much better hitting my calories and macros over the last two days.  I think I will need to do some careful planning to be sure to hit my maintenance calories accurately, but I’m up for the challenge.  I’m really grateful that Jeb is so invested in this – it helps to not feel like I’m “cramping his style” when I make certain decisions.  He’ s also being AWESOME about going to the store and buying ingredients every.single.day.  Poor guy.  But, at least he’s eating well! 🙂

 

Workouts continue to go well – still at 100% compliance. 🙂

I Resisted!

Boston Cream donuts are one of my favorite treats. One of my staff brought some in just when I was trying to figure out how to fit in all my calories today. I remembered, though, to keep moving toward my goals and have resisted the temptation!  I will eat something wholesome for 200 calories instead.  Food is fuel, not an outlet for a stressful day, right? (I think I can, I think I can…)

Cleans for Cardio

Today was a planned cardio day.  Since I still have a cold, and all the typical cardio equipment was being used (also, have I mentioned how much I HATE traditional cardio??), I was looking for something different.  Sifting through my Google Reader, I came across a post by Dan John that, among other things, includes his musings on the kettlebell clean.  At the end of the article is a cardio workout using the clean.  As I’ve mentioned before, I ❤ Kettlebells, so it didn’t take much for me to pick this for my cardio workout.

 

Basically, the workout goes like this (quoted from the article linked above):

Let’s start with the Left Hand:
8 Single Kettlebell Cleans
3 Single Front Squats

Swing and Switch Hands

8 Single Kettlebell Cleans
3 Single Front Squats

Swing and Switch Hands

5 Single Kettlebell Cleans
2 Single Front Squats

Swing and Switch Hands

5 Single Kettlebell Cleans
2 Single Front Squats

Swing and Switch Hands

3 Single Kettlebell Cleans
1 Single Front Squats

Swing and Switch Hands

3 Single Kettlebell Cleans
1 Single Front Squats

 

I did a solid warm up, followed by 3 rounds with the 16kg bell.  It was the perfect balance of do-able and really tough.  The beauty of this workout is the active rest (squats).  It was enough of a drastic change in activity to allow me to prepare for another round of cleans, but challenging enough to boost the cardiovascular demand.  I’m definitely going to keep this routine in the rotation – especially for days I need to do a lot of work in a short period of time.

 

In other news:

I kind of sucked at the diet yesterday, but not in the way you would think.  Yesterday was a higher calorie day, and I missed by target by almost 500 calories.  I’m not really sure what happened.  I didn’t have time to eat as much as I usually do at work, plus I cleaned up some of my food choices.  When I got home at 8:30 p.m., I realized that I needed to eat 1000 more calories!  I couldn’t see stuffing myself, but I did make a point to eat some healthy, calorie dense foods.  I’m hoping that, since it’s the first week, I will only see the benefit of the increased deficit, but definitely plan to hit my targets more accurately from here on out.

Challenge Goals

As indicated in my previous post, I am participating in a transformation challenge on the leighpeele.com membership site.  Here are my goals:

Full Challenge Goals:

• Lose between 15 and 30 pounds.  I will be satisfied with 15, and thrilled with more.
• Get a feel for true maintenance.  Know what my body feels like at maintenance and approximately how many calories are my maintenance (right now).
• Improve my sleep, both in quantity and quality.  Incorporate effective strategies to help me wind down at the end of the night.
• Become more aware of the emotional attachments I have to food (and eventually eliminate them).
• Devote 30-45 minutes each night to self-care.

 

Objectives to Meet Goals:

• Focus on following cycling program accurately to ensure compliance.
• Aim for 100% compliance on training.  This will give me an emotional boost to help me – I always feel better when I train.  Plus, I will gain more confidence knowing I am sticking to the program.
• Identify and prepare at least one new healthy recipe each week and blog about it to avoid diet boredom.
• Identify one fun activity to do with Jeb each weekend that is NOT food related.

Resolutions

Here we are again at the New Year!  I’m not normally one to come up with New Year’s Resolutions, but this year is different.  I’ve been doing this “weight loss thing” for a couple years now, and it is TIME to be done.  Starting today, I am participating in Leigh Peele’s Resolution Solution challenge.  I will be following a calorie cycling program with a new training program, but won’t get into the diet details during the course of the challenge (due to copyright rules).  A big portion of the challenge is a focus on the mental aspect of fat loss.  I am embracing the full challenge and, for the first time, making my goals concrete.  So far in this journey, I’ve simply wanted to lose weight.  I’ve never really bothered to set concrete goals or figure out my true motivations.

 

What do I want? I want my body to be healthier, and to convey the amount of work I have already put into living a healthier lifestyle.  I need to lose more fat (though I’m not sure how much – maybe 40-50 pounds), and I want to maintain the muscle that I have now.  I also want my body to be stronger and more able to handle any challenge that comes along. External rewards are also important to me – I want the people around me to assume I live a healthy lifestyle, rather than the opposite.

 

Why do I want these things? Aside from the obvious health benefits,  I want to feel completely confident for the first time in my life.  I want to be able to shop in more than one or two stores for clothes – and I want to ROCK whatever styles I choose.  I don’t want to feel like a hypocrite anymore – I have to encourage healthy lifestyle choices to the kids I work with, and it doesn’t feel right encouraging them to be mindful of their food choices when it is obvious that I have not done the same.  I really want to have more adventure in my life.  Sometimes, though less often than a few years ago, I shy away from things that I could really enjoy because I am embarrassed or worried that I am not capable.  This needs to stop.  Today.

 

What will it mean to finally have the body I want? It will mean that I have succeeded.  At that point, I will be 100% in control.  My past trauma and fear will be in the past forever, and I will have learned to separate the emotional issues I have from my physical needs.  It also means that I have persevered and kept the promise I made to myself – that I would live the lifestyle of a healthy person and not give in to momentary pleasures at the expense of my greater goals.

 

What does it mean to train on a regular basis? This is the easy part for me.  I love to train.  It helps with my general energy level, my self esteem, and my general happiness.  I love seeing progress in the gym and knowing I am getting stronger, fitter, and healthier.  Choosing to train is choosing to be happy.

 

What is the hardest part of losing fat? I struggle with the diet.  When life gets stressful, it is hard to remember that food is fuel, not a reward or comfort.  I’ve been working on eating more intuitively and stopping when I get full.  I’m not always successful, but I’m glad I recognize that I struggle in this area.  Removing the emotional attachments I have to food is one of my primary objectives during this challenge.  Additionally, I have PCOS, and struggle with losing weight anyway.  It’s hard for me to trust the process and know I am getting results even if the scale doesn’t always say so.

 

Who am I trying to please? Myself, of course, but probably not as much as I should be!  Right now, I’m more focused on pleasing others – my husband, my family, my coworkers, etc.  I want the people in my life to look at me and think of me as a fit and healthy person.  Once others see me that way, it will be easier for me to see it too.  I’ve never had a ton of encouragement in my physical appearance or body composition, so even when I see results, it’s hard to truly embrace them and be satisfied.  This self-esteem aspect will also be huge for me over the next 3 months.  I need to be satisfied without the external support.

 

How will attaining physical goals change my life? Moving toward my physical goals has already changed my life.  I’m amazed at the improvement in my energy levels and my confidence.  Attaining my goals will allow me to push my body in athletic ways – competing in local events, trying new sports, or just plain feeling normal when I’m out jogging or playing with my niece.  I look forward to hiking in the summer without worrying that I might not be able to handle the trek, and wearing a bathing suit without feeling embarrassed.

 

Final thoughts:

I’m doing this challenge through the leighpeele.com membership site.  I’m taking a completely different approach than I have in the past and am hoping to see some big and lasting results.  My husband is also trying to lose fat, and I am helping him.  I hope that helping him will also help me stay on track.  Our lives can only get better by us both doing the work now and being successful!  For me, though, self-identity is playing a big part in this.  I am training myself to stop thinking of myself as the “fat friend” or the “lazy one” and instead start thinking of myself as an athlete or at least a fit woman.  This will be an even bigger part of the picture for my husband, but I’m not sure he knows this yet.  I’m going to help him, but I also need to not let helping him reach his goals affect me reaching mine (he would never want this, but I have tendency to get into a “caretaker” role that sacrifices my own needs).  This is the year that we lose our excess weight and embrace our real identities!

Merry Christmas!

Crazy week, and no time to post really, but I wish you all a wonderful Christmas and Happy New Year!

 

…stay tuned for new Goal Setting post!

Top Words

I love how Facebook has all those end of the year applications that create collages or lists of your status updates, photos, etc. from the year.  When I used “Top Words” this morning, my top 3 words were:

1. Happy
2. Really
3. Gym

Not so bad.  🙂

Is this taking too long?

I want to lose a solid 100 pounds (AT LEAST).  I’m down 55-60ish now (depending on the day), and I look AND feel about a million times better than I did.  However, I’ve been at this for TWO years.  Of course I know that I can’t look at the Biggest Loser for a guide, so I’m not expecting to lose 10 pounds a week, but I do hear lots of stories about lots of people losing 100+ pounds in a year – and NEVER more than 2 years.

I feel like I could buckle down and drop a bunch of weight.  That’s what I did in the beginning.  However, I really enjoy my workouts.  If I want to REALLY drop weight, I need to eat in a BIG deficit, and sometimes that means cutting down my training so it only protects me from muscle wasting.  I’m already eating in a deficit, but not so severe of one that I can’t support intense training.  Compliance is one of the most important parts of fat loss, so if training intensely improves my compliance, is it worth it to have less of a deficit in my food??

Or is that a version of self-sabotage?  I don’t think so, but I wonder sometimes.  I try not to get too focused on those sorts of things, but I don’t think people get as big as I was without some element of self-sabotage in their personalities or behaviors.  Am I harming myself, or at least holding myself back, by not finishing this and getting on with my life?  Is this fierce hold I have on intense training based in fear?  If so, what am I afraid of??

I’m working on some new goals and a new plan to get me looking my best for my birthday.  It’s an arbitrary date, really, but it IS a big birthday.  I have 4 months and 1 day, so I have to get cracking.  I’ve been listening to a member’s only audio series on bridging the technical/emotional aspects of fat loss that Leigh Peele released.  For the first time, I’m not going to gloss over the mental aspects of this and I’m not going to rush.  Even though I did lose fat in 2010, my progress just wasn’t what I wanted it to be.  I don’t want to look back a year from now and say the same thing.

 

Plugging along…